I once had occasion to visit a lonely farmhouse and was almost horribly killed!
It didn’t cross my mind as I drove down the long twisting driveway, that I was moving further and further away from any possibility of rescue by neighbours should the need arise.
You just don’t think about things like that. Of the few houses that did line this lonely country road in rural Michigan the one I was driving to was set back a very long way indeed. Well out of earshot of any of the other residents who could come rushing to my aid at my first panic stricken yelp.
The trees lining the driveway finally cleared and I pulled my car up close to the front door of the big farm. There were no other cars parked anywhere in sight and along with a quiet hush gave me the impression that no one was home. I didn’t know that for sure of course and so I walked cheerfully up the path to the front door.
I knocked briskly on the large wooden door and immediately two things happened. The instant I knocked big dogs started barking up a storm and a somewhat shrill voice from inside shouted “Come on in”
I must have been mistaken I thought about no one being home, which was good, but I could tell from the very loud barking that the dogs were big and not at all pleased at being disturbed. I knocked again wanting the homeowner to open the front door an inch and talk to me through the gap.
However I simply got the same reply as before, “Come on in”.
It was a bit of a dilemma but I have had things happen like this enough times before and so I figured that it was someone sitting at the kitchen table in a wheelchair and that nobody would be so reckless as to say “Come on in” if it wasn’t safe.
I told myself “Shoulders back Steve, you’ve been told to come on in”
I gingerly opened the front door and was greeted by 5 very big dogs, one of which was a German Shepard (Alsatian) all barking like junkyard dogs. It was that terrifying barking that you sometimes see in movies where all the dogs teeth are displayed and saliva and spittle fly everywhere. However, I was told to come on in so I figured I was safe.
I couldn’t see into the kitchen from where I was standing but I presumed that was where the homeowner was and so I started to slowly make my way into the living room all the time calling “Hello,” As I moved forward some of the dogs backed up and others moved around behind me all the time barking furiously. Every time I called “Hello” I paused for an answer but nothing came in reply. Apart from the howling snapping dogs the place seemed empty. I wasn’t at all worried at this point but I was becoming angry. I figured that the person who had called “Come on in” was sitting at the kitchen table silently laughing at my discomfort, knowing that the dogs were not going to bite me but that they were causing me much consternation.
Finally I reached a point where I could see clearly into the kitchen and was shocked to find that no one was there. Where I had expected to see the homeowner there was not a soul. The kitchen was empty. My first thought was “What on earth is going on here?” I know for definite that I heard a voice call “Come on in” when I first knocked. I then saw some movement off to my right and as I looked round I instantly knew what had happened and I was now the most terrified I have ever been in my life.
There was a parrot. And the parrot had obviously learned to say “Come on in” when there is a knock on the door.
I didn’t turn around I simply started walking backwards. Luckily the dogs moved out of my way and as I reached the door I fumbled behind myself for the handle. I managed to get out of there without getting bitten but I was shaking for an hour and all that evening I was practicing in my most sincere voice “Honestly your Honor, the parrot said it was okay to come in”
I went back the next day and the lady of the house was there. I didn’t get two sentences into my story and she said,
“The parrot right”
I said if you know you have a parrot that invites people in why do you leave your front door unlocked?!”
She answered “I don’t know, we just always have”
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